curious, not creepy.

it gets me every time.
October 15, 2009, 4:24 am
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i cry a lot. but it’s very rarely because i’m sad about something. usually it happens when i’m extremely happy or think that something is incredibly beautiful. things that could be considered silly like a sunset or hearing a song come on the radio will make me tear up.

case and point, this song –

every single time i hear it, it makes me cry. i remember hearing it for the first time in my dads car when i was really little and it made me cry. i dunno what it is exactly, but it gets me every time.


i love the internet.
June 29, 2009, 6:35 pm
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infernal noise.
June 8, 2009, 6:55 pm
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i learned about the Infernal Noise Brigade last summer and it really struck a chord with me then, and still does today. sometime last fall, the loft opened a film called battle in seattle. it deals with the protests happening in seattle on november 30th, 1999, the same time in which the INB was gearing up for its debut.  while watching the film, i kept thinking about the articles i read during this class. especially the one written by jennifer whitney since it hold a first hand account of the events that lead up to and took place on that day. the director made the very smart decision to incorporate real footage from protestors and news crews, and in the background you can see the INB marching but you can definitely hear them playing. it was a really great experience to see them on the screen, and see how they really motivated the crowd. you get that sense because of the readings as well as the powerpoint presentation, but to see it for longer then a few seconds makes it very clear and unarguable. 


the idea behind the Infernal Noise Brigade of being the dope propaganda is great. they are reclaiming public space and actually making them for the people. the street is their venue instead of being in some gallery or museum space. it makes it more accessible for the masses, and is also really the only setting that this could really take place. anywhere else would just be odd, since they are trying to break up the differences created between art, politics and everyday life. there shouldn’t be any kind of division between these things, because all of them happen daily and need one another to grow. 


this time around i found the second article, affective composition and aesthetics: on dissolving the audience and facilitating the mob, to be much more interesting then the one written by jennifer whitney. i think its because it focuses more on the principals of political art instead of a personal account of the event. not that that isn’t interesting as well, but this one feels more insightful then it did the last time i read it. 


what i found most interesting about this is the idea of performance and how it can be used in different ways. what the INB does is break down the barrier between performance and art by taking music off the stage and into the crowd. they are no longer on that pedestal, and there is no longer a focal point. instead, the crowd becomes the focal point and everyone there is involved with the action instead of passively watching, they’ve become apart of the experience. they have used the idea of the spectacle to their advantage, by doing these lively performances they draw attention the themselves and their message.  “In order for political speech to cause affective resonance, conditions must exist for the audience to be able to identify with the speaker as well as possess a capacity to affect and be affected.”  they help create this kind of environment.


Political art is political not just through its content, but also in the way in which it is designed to work with or against the conventional circulation of ideas, images, and relations. In other words, forms of street art are not subversive simply because of the fact that they occur in the street, but rather because they unfold relations that resist the over-coding operations of the art institution and commodity production.


i think that the INB uses this idea of political art beautifully, and can be seen just in the pure fact that they are a marching band. for many people, their first associations with the marching band comes from war time and its use to motivate solders. they have re-appropriated what a marching is and can by, by using to help revitalize those who are protesting. it is still used as a motivator, but the audience it is targeting is much different then what it used to be. also, the kinds of music they draw inspiration from is from across the world which creates a multicultural experience.  by using music styles from anywhere and everywhere, it is a way of connecting people and making them apart of something bigger.   


the Infernal Noise Brigade does an amazing job at incorporating the people around them into their performances. i love the idea of interrupting routine with music. but especially, i enjoy how much fun they all seem to be having. they want to provide energy for the crowd and do so not only through their music but the positive energy they exude. 

walk four – cocoons and engagement

i decided to take this walk in a place that has gone from a place of comfort to one of total disdain, the mall. i remember being like 13 and going to the park mall every weekend with my friends. that was the place to be at that age, and that seems to linger on for a few years. but at some point, it switched over for me. it stopped being a place that i liked going, instead i absolutely dread going. 

i was armed with my ipod for this walk, which happened to have crashed the day before and needed to be reloaded with music. i was at a friends house so he put on a bunch of music for me. all of which were bands that i liked when i was just finishing middle school and starting high school. so listening to bands like incubus [yeah, i know] really took me back to the time when i actually enjoyed being at the mall. while on my walk around the place, i became very interested in all of these things that i never really noticed before. i couldn’t help but stare all of the horrible southwestern art that could be found throughout the space.

i hate southwestern art.

so much hate.

and the attempt to bring in natural lighting into this very artificial environment.

faux light

but what i found really interesting was the big potted plants. 



this idea of bringing nature into totally fabricated, unnatural environments is a theme that has been popping up a lot lately. i know a lot of people working with this theme, and was able to see it a lot while at the mall. i found it to be a really funny juxtaposition of these plants against these brightly light, backgrounds with bright colors and photoshopped models.

i walked through the whole mall and had all of these thoughts about the space itself and didn’t really take into much consideration the people in it. which happened during the second half of the walk.

i’ve always been an eavesdropper, and the mall is totally the right place to be in to hear some really good stuff. its not that i am trying to be nosey, but i just really like seeing people in their element. when they are totally themselves because they think that no one is paying attention. people are so funny and don’t even really know it. so, when walking through the mall without headphones i couldn’t help but not smile and giggle a bit when people would say something funny or just ridiculous. the highlight being this: “now, learning how to say what color are your panties in Arabic seems way more important than anything else.”  that gem happened right outside the victoria secret, which may or may not be a coincidence. 

i also noticed how unwilling people are to make eye contact with you there. everyone was either looking at the person they were with or staring at the ground. there were a few accidental glances by some teenagers and they quickly looked away, the only people who actually maintained eye contact were those annoying kiosk people and the mall security. both of which make sense, since it is part of their job. but, it is still very interesting how people react when they make eye contact with you especially when you don’t look away. we’ve become very sensitive to this and can feel when it has gone on too long. 

it was a very interesting experience going back to a place i used to spend so much time in. this walk made me realize different things about the space that i don’t think i otherwise would have payed attention to.

here is the route that i took for my walk, 

park mall

project three – remove before washing.
June 6, 2009, 6:11 pm
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for the last year, a good friend of mine has been doing research on radio frequency identification chips [rfid] for a body of work he is working on. when either one of us learns something new, we discuss it a lot and pretty throughly. so, i’ve learned quite a bit about these chips through him. 

rfid chips act as transmitters to radio signals sent by transceivers and as a tracking device. several corporations use this technology in their products to assist them with marketing, however they legally have no obligation to tell their consumers that they are doing this. this is one of the things i have a hard time with regarding the rfid chips. i can see how they could be used for positive things, but i really don’t like the idea of something that i buy is being tracked while i’m in the store and could possibly be after i leave. there are no laws regulating how these things are used, and they don’t have to notify you of the chips presence.

so, for this project i went to two stores that prominently use the rfid chips in their goods and left notes in the clothing. i would either fold up a note and put it in the pocket, or i’d safety pin a note to the actual rfid chip which can be found really easily in most jeans. anytime you’ve ever had a tag that said remove before washing or wearing, you’ve purchased a product with an rfid chip. most people are completely unaware of this, i know i sure was up to a year ago. i think that it’s only fair that people are aware of these chips being in products they buy, and there needs to be regulation protecting our privacy. there are also many other uses that rfid chips are being implemented for that need to be raised for discussion, like putting them in passports and birth certificates, and are being looked over. my hope is that the people who find these will want to learn more and look at the website i provided and be apart of this conversation that needs to happen, or at the very least be aware of something that is a integrating itself into their lives.

the chip.

the note.

old navy.


i’m not sure if the text is really readable for these images, but this is what it said:

This product contains a Radio Frequency Identification Chip which act as transmitters to radio signals sent by transceivers.  This technology has the capability to track you wherever it is you travel.  There are currently no laws in place to protect you from this invasion of privacy, as it is not required for the 100+ companies that embed RFID chips into their goods to tell their consumers they actively use them.


Protect your right to privacy. 

also, most of the notes i left were in the pockets of clothing that were already on the floor. i wasn’t able to document any of these but was able to capture these in the privacy of my dressing room. ideally, there would be lots lots more then just the twenty i did.

walk five – in your name.
June 4, 2009, 9:20 am
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i asked a good friend of mine what was something that was important to him, something that he really believed in. i shouldn’t have been surprised when he told me something totally unconventional, as last year he had me pick up all the nails in my alley, but i was. 

it is important to be able and comfortable being alone. there is nothing wrong with it. its not something to get used to, its something that we all do. 

with that being said, he asked me to go on a date. to picture what my ‘perfect date’ would be and do it, but alone.  i was totally intrigued by this idea, but was really hesitant to actually follow through. this idea of being alone or feeling loneliness is something i’ve been thinking and dealing a lot with lately. some of my closest, and dearest friends are moving and will be gone by the end of the summer. i’m excited for them to move forward and actively pursue their future, but i can’t help but feel sad that they’re leaving. its not that i don’t have good friends that are still in town, but i guess more then anything it makes me feel as though i’m falling behind. for those of us who’ve grown up in tucson, there seems to be this mentality that you have to escape. that you haven’t really made it if you haven’t moved away. at least thats the way me and my friends seem to look at it, it is this place that you love to miss, but hate to be in. 

the idea of this walk felt far too personal so i initially rejected it and asked him to come up with something else. he refused and insisted that i do it. and after a lot of coaxing, i convinced myself that i needed to do it. 


i started off my date at char’s, one of my favorite restaurants in town. i wasn’t nervous when walking in, but when the hostess asked me how many and i said just one her only response was ‘oh.’ the nerves kicked in.


i realized when i sat down, that i’d never eaten dinner alone at a nicer restaurant.  normally when i go eat alone, i have a book or something to do. but i didn’t have that option as it would be rude to do that on a date. i did notice myself becoming very sensitive to the other people in the room and what they think about me being alone, or what it is that i think about people who eat alone.  the only time i’ve ever felt any kind of sadness for someone who is eating alone is if they are older.  for some reason it seems worse when they do it then someone who is younger.  i think i project my ideas of why it is they don’t have anyone else with them, like their partner passed away or all their friends are in retirement homes when they could just be doing what i am – unable to find someone else to go with but am still hungry.  the other customers didn’t seem to even notice that i was alone, they were all caught up in their own conversations that they didn’t really give me a second glance.  and it was kind of nice being alone there, however i did miss having someone around who could order the curry so we could share.

after dinner i took myself to see a movie.


now, hunger isn’t necessarily a first date movie but i figured on a perfect date the other person would want to see it as badly as i did.  i’ve seen movies by myself before, but what is interesting is that even though i’m in an environment that is totally familiar being there off the clock and alone felt a little awkward.  in my mind everyone was wondering why this girl was all alone at a pretty depressing film, but i don’t think that anyone really cared that i was there alone.  instead i was projecting these things onto them.  

the film was absolutely amazing.  it would have been nice to have someone around who’d seen the film to discuss it with them, but it was nice being able to fully digest it on my own.  after the movie, i drove home and walked down to che’s as the conclusion to my date.

bar time.

this was the part that i’d been dreading the most about this whole walk.  i’d never been to a bar alone before, the idea of it totally freaks me out.  i feel like its a completely different experience for a guy to go alone then it is for a girl.  if a girl is seen by herself there is an automatic assumption that she is out ‘on the prowl.’  but if a guy is out, he’s just out having a drink which is a very weird double standard.  i was able to find a table which was ironically by the last person i went on a ‘date’ with.  which got me thinking about the word ‘date.’  i find the word to be very intimidating as there are very specific intentions and expectations involved with going on one.  there is that ultimate goal that at the end of the night you’ll be getting that goodnight kiss or something more, which maybe why i don’t use that word very often.  we’ll go and ‘hangout’ or something, but never a date.  it feels like too much pressure to me.  so it was kind of funny that the first time i’ve used that word in a long time was in reference to myself.  after all of that inner dialogue i looked around the room and noticed that just like at dinner, no one seemed to really care that i was there by myself.  i did get a couple strange, prolonged looks from two guys sitting at a table but it didn’t really bother me.  it wasn’t nearly as horrible of an experience as i was expecting it to be.  instead, it was kind of enjoyable.  

i figured out that its not that i’m not capable of being by myself, but that i just enjoy having someone else around.  to be able to talk about things that just happened, or discuss a thought that just popped into your head.  

there seems to be this social stigma about doing things alone.  there is this idea that if you’re alone, then you must be sad and lonely and totally friendless when in all actually it seems more like a sign of independence.  that you are free to do and go wherever it is on your own and feel comfortable doing so.  going on this date with myself made me realize that.  it is okay to be by yourself.  it is okay to be alone.  it is okay to have a nice evening all by yourself. 

project two – book tag.
June 1, 2009, 8:04 pm
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i recently had a conversation with a good friend of mine about summer time and how it was that i used to spend it when i was a little kid. the library is where i could be found at least twice a week. i remember filling up my red wagon at the beginning of the week, taking them home and reading them all so i could return them and get another wagon full. when i got a little older, my mom would drop me off and i’d spend the day reading and helping the librarians eventually leading to my first job. 

for this weeks project, i wanted to explore the idea of the importance things have at various times in your life and how we are not alone in our discoveries as this happens to other people as well. i used books to be the objects to help express this, and decided to leave a kind of tag in books that have had great influence on me. 


book tag


me talk pretty one day.

i wasn’t able to document all of the books i left them in. i got really anxious since i was one of the only people in the store and it made any noises my camera made extra loud. but i’m spreading them around various bookstores and libraries, maybe you’ll find one.