Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: art, growth, high school, opinion, photographs, teaching, tucson
today i had my first day of teaching at the museum school for the visual arts. i was pretty convinced that it wasn’t going to happen, as our equipment situation was a total mess. but it all came together, and is fully functioning.
after a mini-freakout at about 920 when i realized that i’d only bought film developer and no paper developer, and had to make a mad dash to jones it went well. the kids are awesome, and are totally into everything we’re doing.
i think that half the battle of being a teacher is having a group of students who don’t care and aren’t even willing to meet you half way. so, it’s nice that i can check that off my lists of worries.

Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: "end of the world", concern, customer service, internet, opinion, robots
my internet was shut down for about the past 5 days, i had to steal it from my neighbor or venture out into the world to track it down. it’s weird to think how dependent we’ve become on it, not having it with ease was such a pain in the ass and lord knows if i don’t check the ol’ facebook the world was going to end.
but anyways, probably the most annoying part of the whole ordeal was having to call the cox customer service line. why? because you get to talk to a robot woman. now, this sounds like it could be kind of rad in theory but in action it fucking sucks. you have to pick the correct general topic and then filter through them with her from there. and i know that her voice is supposed to be soothing and calming, but all i wanted to do was rip my hair out. especially since there is no return to main menu button or phrase or whatever.
**HINT- if you’re on the phone with cox and just want to talk to a HUMAN interrupt her and say ‘customer service representative’ or scream ‘I JUST WANT TO TALK OT A FUCKING HUMAN’ and she’ll direct you to one immediately**
once she was actually helping me troubleshoot my internet i became kind of impressed with the whole thing. she could respond to my questions and reset my modem from wherever she is. it’s kind of cool that someone can program something to be so smart. but then i started getting creeped out about robots taking over the world and such. i’ve realized that i like the idea of robots because in my head they look like cute little objects like this:
or like this:
but what they’ll probably end up being like is this:

and i’m not the biggest fan of that idea. at all.
moral of the story – we’re fucked.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: art, cacti, change, observation, opinion, over it, sunset, tucson

i’m pretty over southwestern art.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: american, candles, concern, dead, music, observations, opinion, photographs, public, tucson, vigil
there was a candle light vigil in the rose garden of reid park tonight in honor of michael jackson. we went to check it out and the whole time i had the same two thoughts running through my head.
- how is it that we can rally for shit like this, but the stuff that actually matters we just sit on our asses and do nothing?
- these people are totally serious about this.



within the first 5 minutes of being there, we heard michael jackson get compared to the dali lama, louis farrakhan, and martin luther king. and apparently he had a greater affect on the world then any of them. why? because his music brought people together.
seriously?? how is he even on the same level as those guys??
i mean, yeah it sucks that he’s dead but personally i’m more bummed out about farrah fawcett. the burning bed was like my favorite movie when i was little. and as far as i know, he never had a lifetime movie…not yet anyways.

rip farrah fawcett
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: art, frederick sommer, james turrell, love, observations, opinion, photographs, phx, sight, sky
today i fell in love with someone i’ve known for quite some time now. i’ve always appreciated him, but never really understood what made him so special.
until today.
there was something about seeing him in a different, unfamiliar space that made me look closer. or maybe it was just that it was seeing a new side of him, that i’d never really explored.
i think it was the juxtaposition between that image [circumnavigation of the blood] and this text taken from a lecture he gave:
i know now [and should have known earlier] that we are incapable of ever seeing anything new. consequently, we would never photograph anything unless we have become attentive to it because we already have a part of it within ourselves. as we go around we are only paying attention to those things which already have occupied us, or, better still, are so much a part of us that we lean into the next situation finding that we are already there.
oh, frederick sommer. where have you been all my life? you’re so much more then cut up pieces of butcher paper. how could i have neglected you for so long? and will you ever forgive me? i like to think he’ll let it slide.
i went to the scottsdale museum of contemporary art today and had a lovely evening with mr. sommer, and a new somebody i’ve been looking into, james turrell. his piece, knight rise, looks like this:

the photo doesn’t do it justice. i laid down on the bench that circles around the room and started up at the sky for 20 minutes. and it was amazing. the subtle color shifts of blues and whites was beautiful. and i can’t wait for his piece in the crater to open.
maybe phoenix isn’t all bad after all…
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: american, analysis, growth, observations, opinion, walking
i remember reading the excerpt of wanderlust last summer and wanting to read the book in its entirety. unfortunately, i got distracted with other classes and other books and never got around to reading it until this summer. i tracked down a copy of the book and got to hear rebecca solnit’s history of walking.
the structure of the book gives the reader a very through and detailed history of walking. she begins with a personal narrative voice, discussing what it is she goes through while on her walks. we share a lot of the same ideas about what makes walking important, “walking allows us to be in our bodies and in the word without being made busy by them.” she talks about how thinking has begun to be looked down upon in today’s society. we are always moving forward so quickly, needing to be more and more productive each day that by seemingly being inactive causes us, and others, great distress. i catch myself doing this fairly often, especially in times of stress. if i’m not constantly working on something or planning my next step i feel as though i’m just wasting time. but, if i just gave myself a moment to be with my own thoughts i’d be much more productive. but doing nothing, is very hard to do. she also touches on how we have become disconnected from outside spaces and each other. we are now living in a series of interior spaces, from the house to the car to work and back. ”one lives in the whole world rather than in interiors built up against it.” walking allows us to reconnect with the idea of being in nature and being with ourselves.
she continues this idea of connecting with ourselves, because ‘in the experience of walking, each step is a thought. you can’t escape yourself.’ its this notion of what walking does for a person that leads into how the trend of walking for some kind of cause began. it began with the pilgrimage, or a sacred walk, “pilgrimage unites belief with action, thinking with doing, and it makes sense that this harmony is achieved with the sacred has material presence and location.” the body becomes a vessel for all the beliefs that the person has, making the private public through this gesture. for a long time, it was only religious based causes, but over many years it was able to evolve into something with more political content. solnit uses the Peace Pilgrim as an example, a women who dedicated her life to walking. originally she set out to walk 25,000 miles for peace and after accomplishing that hefty goal she just continued to walk but stopped keeping track of the miles. she wouldn’t bring anything with her aside from a few toiletries that could fit into her pocket, she relied on the kindness of others to help her sustain herself. this idea is what made her walks mean something, she walked for peace and that relies on others to give part of themselves to people they don’t know for the greater good. i think its great that someone is able to have that much trust in others, and that she really did do what she set out for. though there isn’t world peace, which who knows if it will ever happen, she made a very positive impact on the people she interacted with which is a step in the right direction.
what i found to be the most interesting was the next section of the book, lives of the streets. it is easier for me to relate to urban life then rural, not that tucson is super urbanized but its certainly not a tiny town. she draws a comparison between the two at the beginning of this section that really sums up the relationship that i know i have with the city. “the average rural walker looks at the general – the view, the beauty – and the landscape moves by as a gently modulated continuity: a crest long in view is reached, a forest thins out to become a meadow. the urbanite is on the lookout for particulars, for opportunities, individuals, and supplies, and the changes are abrupt.” anytime i have lived in a new neighborhood i do this, i go out on a walk to familiarize myself with the area and see what is nearby. and though i have lived close to 4th avenue for the past 4 years, i have very different places that i go to out of connivence. i could always be found at epic when i lived in west university, but now that i live in iron horse i go to caffe passe. they are only half a mile apart, but feel so very far apart. i don’t really cross 6th street that often, instead i found all the things that i need on my side of the road. there is still that instinctual part of us that looks knows that we need to know where food is, where shelter is, it’s just that now we do that from the comfort of our cars instead of using our legs.
she goes onto talk about this as well, the new way to get around is no longer to walk but to drive. and because of this there has been a serious decrease in public space. she compare cities to one another, how “most american cities and towns are organized around consumption and production, as were the dire industrial cities of england, and public space is merely the void between workplaces, shops and dwellings.” back, not too long ago, people would come out on saturday nights and just go for walks around plazas and streets. “the promenade is a special subset of walking with an emphasis on slow stately movement, socializing, and display. it is not a way of getting anywhere, but a way of being somewhere, and its movements are essentially circular… allows people to remain visually in public but verbally in private.” there is a women she talked to that grew up in san francisco and can remember when she was young going out on these walks, that the streets would be full of people just going for a stroll up and down market street. there is a sense of community there, even if you’re not speaking to the person next to you. “the word citizen has to do with cities, and the ideal city is organized around citizenship – around participation in public life.” though these walks may not seem like they are changing anything, they are creating an active public life. there are people out and about which not only helps prevent crime, but also boosts the local economy though their purchases as well as a sense of community which i find to be severely lacking today. there was a demand for public spaces at this time because people were actually filling them, something that can still be seen in places like san francisco and new york but is a rare sight in tucson.
this next portion of wanderlust really struck a chord with me. ever since i did walk 5 in which i took myself out on a date, i have been doing a lot of thinking about my role in todays society. though the status of women has progressed a lot from 50 years ago there are still things that haven’t changed. and what solnit discusses in the chapter, walking after midnight: women, sex, and public spaces, is still relevant today. she gives historical examples of women being subjected to unfair social standards and legalities. in 1895, lizzie schauer was arrested as a prostitute because she was out alone after dark and asked two men for directions. she was on her way to her aunts house, but the very act of talking to these men was perceived as solicitation. they performed medical examinations to make sure that she could still be considered a ‘good girl’ and was so she was released. if she hadn’t been a ‘good girl’ she would have been charged with walking alone in the evening as well as having been sexually active. “the young men strolling on the streets think only that a woman of good reputation does not allow herself to be seen in the evening.” women would be arrested if seen out at a late hour, while men had the privilege to go out at any time, day or night, without judgement. though things are not this extreme now in america, there is still this sense of fear that is instilled in women of being alone at night. “two-thirds of american women are afraid to walk alone in their own neighborhoods at night, according to one poll, and another reported that half of british women were afraid to go out after dark alone and 40 percent were ‘very worried’ about being raped.” we are socialized to be afraid instead of learning to be independent and take proactive measures to protect ourselves.
it also got me thinking about other nations and how the freedom of going on a walk at any time day or night, man or women, is prohibited. there are national curfews and if they are not adhered to, there is the very serious and real risk of being arrested or death. i can only hope that one day this will change.
if walking is a primary cultural act and a crucial way of being in the world, those who have been unable to walk out as far as their feet would take them have been denied not merely exercise or recreation but a vast portion of their humanity.
wanderlust changed my thoughts on walking dramatically. i’ve always enjoyed going on them, they’ve always been a means of clearing my head and really being with myself. the history of walking and its evolution turned out to be much more fascinating then i thought it would be. but what was the most interesting part is knowing that i am not the first person to have used walking for these reasons. that i’m not only one who uses it as a means of collecting my thoughts or as a way of being both present and detached from the world around me.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: analysis, music, noise, opinion, politics, private, public, reading
i learned about the Infernal Noise Brigade last summer and it really struck a chord with me then, and still does today. sometime last fall, the loft opened a film called battle in seattle. it deals with the protests happening in seattle on november 30th, 1999, the same time in which the INB was gearing up for its debut. while watching the film, i kept thinking about the articles i read during this class. especially the one written by jennifer whitney since it hold a first hand account of the events that lead up to and took place on that day. the director made the very smart decision to incorporate real footage from protestors and news crews, and in the background you can see the INB marching but you can definitely hear them playing. it was a really great experience to see them on the screen, and see how they really motivated the crowd. you get that sense because of the readings as well as the powerpoint presentation, but to see it for longer then a few seconds makes it very clear and unarguable.
the idea behind the Infernal Noise Brigade of being the dope propaganda is great. they are reclaiming public space and actually making them for the people. the street is their venue instead of being in some gallery or museum space. it makes it more accessible for the masses, and is also really the only setting that this could really take place. anywhere else would just be odd, since they are trying to break up the differences created between art, politics and everyday life. there shouldn’t be any kind of division between these things, because all of them happen daily and need one another to grow.
this time around i found the second article, affective composition and aesthetics: on dissolving the audience and facilitating the mob, to be much more interesting then the one written by jennifer whitney. i think its because it focuses more on the principals of political art instead of a personal account of the event. not that that isn’t interesting as well, but this one feels more insightful then it did the last time i read it.
what i found most interesting about this is the idea of performance and how it can be used in different ways. what the INB does is break down the barrier between performance and art by taking music off the stage and into the crowd. they are no longer on that pedestal, and there is no longer a focal point. instead, the crowd becomes the focal point and everyone there is involved with the action instead of passively watching, they’ve become apart of the experience. they have used the idea of the spectacle to their advantage, by doing these lively performances they draw attention the themselves and their message. “In order for political speech to cause affective resonance, conditions must exist for the audience to be able to identify with the speaker as well as possess a capacity to affect and be affected.” they help create this kind of environment.
Political art is political not just through its content, but also in the way in which it is designed to work with or against the conventional circulation of ideas, images, and relations. In other words, forms of street art are not subversive simply because of the fact that they occur in the street, but rather because they unfold relations that resist the over-coding operations of the art institution and commodity production.
i think that the INB uses this idea of political art beautifully, and can be seen just in the pure fact that they are a marching band. for many people, their first associations with the marching band comes from war time and its use to motivate solders. they have re-appropriated what a marching is and can by, by using to help revitalize those who are protesting. it is still used as a motivator, but the audience it is targeting is much different then what it used to be. also, the kinds of music they draw inspiration from is from across the world which creates a multicultural experience. by using music styles from anywhere and everywhere, it is a way of connecting people and making them apart of something bigger.
the Infernal Noise Brigade does an amazing job at incorporating the people around them into their performances. i love the idea of interrupting routine with music. but especially, i enjoy how much fun they all seem to be having. they want to provide energy for the crowd and do so not only through their music but the positive energy they exude.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: american, change, concern, notes, observations, opinion, private, public, rfid, tag
for the last year, a good friend of mine has been doing research on radio frequency identification chips [rfid] for a body of work he is working on. when either one of us learns something new, we discuss it a lot and pretty throughly. so, i’ve learned quite a bit about these chips through him.
rfid chips act as transmitters to radio signals sent by transceivers and as a tracking device. several corporations use this technology in their products to assist them with marketing, however they legally have no obligation to tell their consumers that they are doing this. this is one of the things i have a hard time with regarding the rfid chips. i can see how they could be used for positive things, but i really don’t like the idea of something that i buy is being tracked while i’m in the store and could possibly be after i leave. there are no laws regulating how these things are used, and they don’t have to notify you of the chips presence.
so, for this project i went to two stores that prominently use the rfid chips in their goods and left notes in the clothing. i would either fold up a note and put it in the pocket, or i’d safety pin a note to the actual rfid chip which can be found really easily in most jeans. anytime you’ve ever had a tag that said remove before washing or wearing, you’ve purchased a product with an rfid chip. most people are completely unaware of this, i know i sure was up to a year ago. i think that it’s only fair that people are aware of these chips being in products they buy, and there needs to be regulation protecting our privacy. there are also many other uses that rfid chips are being implemented for that need to be raised for discussion, like putting them in passports and birth certificates, and are being looked over. my hope is that the people who find these will want to learn more and look at the website i provided and be apart of this conversation that needs to happen, or at the very least be aware of something that is a integrating itself into their lives.




i’m not sure if the text is really readable for these images, but this is what it said:
This product contains a Radio Frequency Identification Chip which act as transmitters to radio signals sent by transceivers. This technology has the capability to track you wherever it is you travel. There are currently no laws in place to protect you from this invasion of privacy, as it is not required for the 100+ companies that embed RFID chips into their goods to tell their consumers they actively use them.
Protect your right to privacy.
also, most of the notes i left were in the pockets of clothing that were already on the floor. i wasn’t able to document any of these but was able to capture these in the privacy of my dressing room. ideally, there would be lots lots more then just the twenty i did.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: alone, date, growth, inner dialogue, observations, opinion, private, public, walking
i asked a good friend of mine what was something that was important to him, something that he really believed in. i shouldn’t have been surprised when he told me something totally unconventional, as last year he had me pick up all the nails in my alley, but i was.
it is important to be able and comfortable being alone. there is nothing wrong with it. its not something to get used to, its something that we all do.
with that being said, he asked me to go on a date. to picture what my ‘perfect date’ would be and do it, but alone. i was totally intrigued by this idea, but was really hesitant to actually follow through. this idea of being alone or feeling loneliness is something i’ve been thinking and dealing a lot with lately. some of my closest, and dearest friends are moving and will be gone by the end of the summer. i’m excited for them to move forward and actively pursue their future, but i can’t help but feel sad that they’re leaving. its not that i don’t have good friends that are still in town, but i guess more then anything it makes me feel as though i’m falling behind. for those of us who’ve grown up in tucson, there seems to be this mentality that you have to escape. that you haven’t really made it if you haven’t moved away. at least thats the way me and my friends seem to look at it, it is this place that you love to miss, but hate to be in.
the idea of this walk felt far too personal so i initially rejected it and asked him to come up with something else. he refused and insisted that i do it. and after a lot of coaxing, i convinced myself that i needed to do it.

i started off my date at char’s, one of my favorite restaurants in town. i wasn’t nervous when walking in, but when the hostess asked me how many and i said just one her only response was ‘oh.’ the nerves kicked in.

i realized when i sat down, that i’d never eaten dinner alone at a nicer restaurant. normally when i go eat alone, i have a book or something to do. but i didn’t have that option as it would be rude to do that on a date. i did notice myself becoming very sensitive to the other people in the room and what they think about me being alone, or what it is that i think about people who eat alone. the only time i’ve ever felt any kind of sadness for someone who is eating alone is if they are older. for some reason it seems worse when they do it then someone who is younger. i think i project my ideas of why it is they don’t have anyone else with them, like their partner passed away or all their friends are in retirement homes when they could just be doing what i am – unable to find someone else to go with but am still hungry. the other customers didn’t seem to even notice that i was alone, they were all caught up in their own conversations that they didn’t really give me a second glance. and it was kind of nice being alone there, however i did miss having someone around who could order the curry so we could share.
after dinner i took myself to see a movie.

now, hunger isn’t necessarily a first date movie but i figured on a perfect date the other person would want to see it as badly as i did. i’ve seen movies by myself before, but what is interesting is that even though i’m in an environment that is totally familiar being there off the clock and alone felt a little awkward. in my mind everyone was wondering why this girl was all alone at a pretty depressing film, but i don’t think that anyone really cared that i was there alone. instead i was projecting these things onto them.
the film was absolutely amazing. it would have been nice to have someone around who’d seen the film to discuss it with them, but it was nice being able to fully digest it on my own. after the movie, i drove home and walked down to che’s as the conclusion to my date.

this was the part that i’d been dreading the most about this whole walk. i’d never been to a bar alone before, the idea of it totally freaks me out. i feel like its a completely different experience for a guy to go alone then it is for a girl. if a girl is seen by herself there is an automatic assumption that she is out ‘on the prowl.’ but if a guy is out, he’s just out having a drink which is a very weird double standard. i was able to find a table which was ironically by the last person i went on a ‘date’ with. which got me thinking about the word ‘date.’ i find the word to be very intimidating as there are very specific intentions and expectations involved with going on one. there is that ultimate goal that at the end of the night you’ll be getting that goodnight kiss or something more, which maybe why i don’t use that word very often. we’ll go and ‘hangout’ or something, but never a date. it feels like too much pressure to me. so it was kind of funny that the first time i’ve used that word in a long time was in reference to myself. after all of that inner dialogue i looked around the room and noticed that just like at dinner, no one seemed to really care that i was there by myself. i did get a couple strange, prolonged looks from two guys sitting at a table but it didn’t really bother me. it wasn’t nearly as horrible of an experience as i was expecting it to be. instead, it was kind of enjoyable.
i figured out that its not that i’m not capable of being by myself, but that i just enjoy having someone else around. to be able to talk about things that just happened, or discuss a thought that just popped into your head.
there seems to be this social stigma about doing things alone. there is this idea that if you’re alone, then you must be sad and lonely and totally friendless when in all actually it seems more like a sign of independence. that you are free to do and go wherever it is on your own and feel comfortable doing so. going on this date with myself made me realize that. it is okay to be by yourself. it is okay to be alone. it is okay to have a nice evening all by yourself.


